Author’s note: The Outsiders are owned by S.E. Hinton.
I replay that night in my head over and over again. Maybe I just never got over the guilt.
Me, Sugar, and Soda headed over to Buck’s like any other Friday night. I was upstairs puffing on a cig while Soda and Sandy made out on the couch beside me. I actually got up the courage to speak to Suanne Johnson. We were both talking and trying to ignore the love birds slobbering all over each other beside us. We didn’t really talk about much, just school, homework and a little about track. Next thing I know, Janice Marks comes running in talking about a fight downstairs and telling Soda he needs to come with her.
As we’re running downstairs I hear a slew of curses coming from the front room as loud as thunder. All the noise around us disappeared and all that anyone heard was “You’re dead, bitch!” As I turn into the front room there is Sugar, hair pulled back and poised for a fight. Soda goes to pull her back as she lunges for Dolores Fitzgerald.
“Sugar, calm down, babe! It’s not what you think.”
Dally stood in front of Dolores trying to protect her from the wrath of Sugar Curtis. Dolores Fitzgerald was the perfect example of a greaser girl. She had on way too much make up and those tight, nasty black pants. She was a definite sharp contrast to my sister who would constantly complain that make up was a waste of time and who was ready to take Dolores on in her skirt and a plaid red and green button up shirt she stole from me.
“Do you really think I’m stupid? You weren’t just making out with that tramp? Let me go Sodapop!”
I could tell Soda was holding on for dear life. I do have to say, Sugar was as fit to fight as any one of us. I saw her take on Curly Shepard and Matthew Jackson at the same time when she was about 12 years old. They decided it would be fun to make fun of her name. Dad gave her the nickname Sugar when she was born because Darry couldn’t quite say Lollipop. She was happy with Sugar and she hated Lollipop, so if you wanted to get her revved up that was the way to do it. She busted Curly’s lip and Matt limped for the next week. Oh sure, she got a few cuts and a black eye out of it, but she never backed down and she never cried. From that point on, the Shepard gang had as much respect for her as we did.
Sugar struggled against Soda and finally broke free. She was toe to toe with Dallas and she was madder than hell.
“Get out of my way, Dallas.” He didn’t budge.
“Fine, then I’ll deal with you first!” and at that Sugar pulled back and connected her fist to his cheek. I knew what was coming next. Dally’s eyes blazed with anger and I ran toward them as he balled his fist and pulled back ready to hit her. I guess Sugar knew what was going to happen because as I ran for Dally’s arm Sugar ducked. Unfortunately for Soda, in his attempt to defend her, he caught Dally’s fist in the jaw and fell out cold onto the carpet.
“Damn it, Dallas!” Sugar knelt down beside Soda and tried to slap him awake. Sandy knelt beside her as a groggy Soda stirred on the floor. I just backed away and stood behind where Soda was lying. The left side of Soda’s jaw was already swelling and I could see the red mark left on Dally’s face as he turned to storm out of the room and upstairs. Dolores just sat dumbfounded in the opposite corner of the room.
When Sugar realized Soda was okay she stood up and headed for the door. “Ponyboy, make sure he gets home okay. I need to get outta here.” She pointed to Dolores, “I’ll deal with you, later!” Lucky for Dolores, ‘later’ never came.
I tried to stop her, I really did. I told her to wait for us or that I would come with her, but she was gone before I knew it.
Ten minutes later we had Soda back on his feet, I said goodbye to Suanne and we were out the door. We walked Sandy home and I got to watch as the two of them sucked faced for the next 5 minutes on the front porch all the time making moaning noises that seemed to be a combination of pleasure and pain. I had to chuckle. Even in pain, Soda wouldn’t miss his opportunity to make out with a girl.
The walk home didn’t seem too long. We talked about Sandy, Suanne and Dallas. We were laughing and joking, but we knew when we got home we would have to explain what happened to Darry. When she gets in a mood like that, she doesn’t talk until she’s good and ready. We knew Darry was going to be ready to pound heads and we laughed as we discussed a way to tell him. Maybe if we hadn’t been doing so much talking and laughing we would have heard the low moans coming from the playground.
The porch light was on and the door was open, but no one was in sight. Someone was in the bathroom and, since Sugar’s door was closed, I figured it was probably Darry. Soda laid down on the couch as I went into the kitchen to grab a coke.
“Hey, Pony, grab me one too.” I picked up the coke and began walking over to the couch to hand it to him as Darry came out of the bathroom.
“Hey, where you guys been and what happened to you?” Darry stared at Sodapop’s now purple jaw.
“Sugar and Dally got into it at Buck’s party and Soda got caught in the crossfire. I think it makes him look tuff.” I stated as I took a seat beside Soda on the couch. Soda slapped me on the head, “Way to help me out, Pony.”
“So, where’s Sugar now?” Darry was now sitting in his chair.
“I thought she was in her room.”
“No, she hasn’t been home, yet. I just figured she was with you two.”
Soda got up, “Are you sure? Her door’s closed.” Soda opened Sugar’s bedroom door. I was up on my feet and looking past him into the dark room. Panic took over at that point. Soda’s face went pale as my knees started to give out from under me.
Just as Darry began standing from his chair, Steve and Two-Bit slammed open the screen door. “Hey all, heard about what happened at the party. Where is ole’ fists of steel? I want to take a picture of her hand for posterity.” There goes Two-Bit sticking his foot in his mouth.
Darry just stared at Two-Bit, “Did you two drive here or walk?”
Steve replied, “We drove, why?”
“And you didn’t pass anyone when you were driving?”
“No, why?” I could tell these questions were going way over Steve’s head, but I knew what Darry was getting at. Something was definitely wrong, I could just feel it.
“Pony, you, Steve and Two-Bit head left, Soda and me’ll head right.” Darry jetted out the door at lightening speed with Soda and me fast behind him. I took off to the left with Steve and Two-Bit hot on my trail.
“What are we looking for?” Steve was already running out of breathe. “Sugar didn’t come home after the party.” We went silent and all that could heard was the sound of heavy foot steps of desperation pounding on the pavement. I started screaming “Sugar.” Two-Bit and Steve followed suit and I could hear Darry and Soda in the distance doing the same. We made it to the lot, but as we trekked around it there was no sign of anyone. I felt my breathing increase as the fear surged through my body. I should have gone with her. Suddenly, I could hear my nam being called in the distance. Steve and Two-Bit turned and high tailed it in the direction of the calls. I could feel the adrenaline pumping through me as I ran toward the loud frightened shouts. I passed Steve and Two-Bit as we came within feet of the playground. I could see two figures hovering over another figure on the ground. ‘Please no’ was all that was going through my mind as I approached a straight faced Darry and a crying Sodapop.
I stopped dead in my tracks, Steve and Two-Bit behind me, as Darry lifted up the limp body of my big sister. I just stared in shock. I froze. I didn’t want to hear the moans or see her battered and bruised body. This isn’t real. This can’t be real.
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